As Latter-Day Saints, we see God as a relational God. In fact, this strong view of loving familial relationships can create misunderstandings by other groups that believe in Christ. Often those that want to attack The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints will drop the question, “Don’t Mormons believe that Jesus and the devil are brothers?”. The question is inflammatory. The underlying concept is that we believe in a pre-mortal existence where we all lived as children of our Heavenly Father. Thus, we are all siblings.

This familial portion of our faith is an underpinning concept about our strong ties to God the Father and God the Son. We are the Father’s offspring, and we would describe our interactions as relational and familial. I think Elder Renlund’s quote does a good job of explaining this familial relationship.

But God is not interested in His children just becoming trained and obedient “pets” who will not chew on His slippers in the celestial living room. No, God wants His children to grow up spiritually and join Him in the family business. Elder Renlund

Terryl L. Givens describes the greatness of Joseph Smith’s revelations as the restoration of this relationship in community with each other and God.

The privileged status of personal relationships was not just incidental to the Restoration; it was a primary focus. As Joseph wrote, “It was my endeavor to so organize the Church, that the brethren might eventually be independent of every incumbrance beneath the celestial kingdom, by bonds and covenants of mutual friendship, and mutual love.” When he later stated, with striking brevity, “Friendship is one of the grand fundamental principles of ‘Mormonism,’” Terryl L. Givens, BYU Devotional

I now believe that we build this familial trust through the Holy Ghost, scripture, and prayer. Over the years, I have struggled with prayer as I didn’t quite understand the purpose under a fixed future Omniscience. I would pray to try to get “in line with God.” Prayer felt like a test, and I was failing as I could never quite get the right answer. I didn’t understand that prayer was relational.¹ As I have pondered what love and friendship are and how I experience those emotions, I realized that they grow when those in the relationship work together. Love is not being told what to do but discovering together what we can do. Richard Rice and John Sanders have succinct statements on this type of loving relationship.

Love is the most important quality we attribute to God, and love is more than care and commitment; it involves being sensitive and responsive as well. These convictions led [the contributors to this book [us] to think of God’s relation to the world in dynamic rather than static terms. This conclusion has important consequences. For one thing, it means that God interacts with his creatures. Not only does he influence them, but they also exert an influence on him. As a result, the course of history is not the product of divine action alone. God’s will is not the ultimate explanation for everything that happens; human decisions and actions make an important contribution too. Thus history is the combined result of what God and his creatures decide to do. Richard Rice

…

It is a world in which he grants integrity to his creatures and singles out human beings for a special relationship involving genuine give-and-take dynamics. John Sanders

…

The type of relationship that God offers his people is not one of control and domination but rather one of powerful love and vulnerability. God establishes the relationship in such a way that he risks the possibility of rejection. … The Old Testament reveals God’s actions and God’s incredible persistence in seeking to bring his project to fruition. John Sanders

The relationship in prayer

Enoch’s prayer

Moses 7: 49-52 includes a prayer of Enoch where we see this relationship take place between Enoch and God.² I like these verses as they show how God will work with his faithful servants to save His people and this earth. Notice how the Lord could not withold based on Enoch’s continued cry unto the Lord. I think this scripture is talking about God being moved by Enoch. It is showing that Enoch’s faithful request brought a stronger relationship and promise from God.

And when Enoch heard the earth mourn, he wept, and cried unto the Lord, saying: O Lord, wilt thou not have compassion upon the earth? Wilt thou not bless the children of Noah? And it came to pass that Enoch continued his cry unto the Lord, saying: I ask thee, O Lord, in the name of thine Only Begotten, even Jesus Christ, that thou wilt have mercy upon Noah and his seed, that the earth might never more be covered by the floods. And the Lord could not withhold; and he covenanted with Enoch, and sware unto him with an oath, that he would stay the floods; that he would call upon the children of Noah; And he sent forth an unalterable decree, that a remnant of his seed should always be found among all nations, while the earth should stand;

Nephi’s and the brother of Jared’s prayer

In Ether 3 and 1 Nephi 11, we can see two of God’s children in a very intimate dialogue in their prayers. These prayers seem to be dependent on the interaction and responses of each in the prayer. Terryl Givens provides an excellent summary of the Narrative of Nephi and its impact on how we see prayer and revelation.

But Nephi was “desirous also that [he] might see, and hear, and know of these things” for himself (1 Nephi 10:17). When Nephi made his wish known to the Spirit of the Lord, he was asked if he believed the words of his father (see 1 Nephi 11:1–5). I don’t know this, but I can imagine that at this moment Nephi paused. Perhaps if he said no, the Spirit would rebuke him for disloyalty and faithlessness. But if he said yes, the Spirit might well ask, “Then why not be content to take the word of your prophet and patriarch?” When Nephi indicated that he did indeed believe the words of his father, the Spirit broke forth into a virtual psalm of rejoicing, shouting, “Hosanna!” Then Nephi was rewarded, not rebuked, for seeking his own personal revelatory experience (see 1 Nephi 11:5–6). Here we find a dramatic and momentous break with the Old Testament pattern. Revelation, we here learn, is the province of Everyman. Terryl Givens

President Nelson and prayer

Seeing prayer as a relationship with a God that participates with us in our experience has allowed my faith to grow. Understanding how much he respects agency and that he needs us to ask for him to bless us has opened my eyes. I think that this concept of faith and interaction with God is what President Nelson was highlighting in the following quote;

I fear that too many of our brothers and sisters do not grasp the privileges that could be theirs. Some of our brethren, for example, act like they do not understand what the priesthood is and what it enables them to do. Let me give you some specific examples. Not long ago, I attended a sacrament meeting in which a new baby was to be given a name and a father’s blessing. The young father held his precious infant in his arms, gave her a name, and then offered a beautiful prayer. But he did not give that child a blessing. That sweet baby girl got a name but no blessing! That dear elder did not know the difference between a prayer and a priesthood blessing. With his priesthood authority and power, he could have blessed his infant, but he did not. I thought, “What a missed opportunity!” President Nelson

Wilford Woodruff’s prayer

President Woodruff’s prayers and blessings of his wife provide an interesting dynamic on prayer, faith, agency, and the spirit world. It seems to be a prime example of what President Nelson was implying in his quote above. You can read the full excerpt of Pheobe and Wilford’s experience here. In short,

1. Pheobe gets very sick
2. Wilford prays for her, and she gets a little better
3. Pheobe gets worse
4. Wilford gives her a healing blessing
5. Pheobe gets a bit better
6. Pheobe gets much worse and temporarily dies
7. Pheobe interacts with angels and chooses to come back to her body
8. Wilford is inspired to bless and heal her in a blessing once again.
9. Pheobe is healed and resumes the trip with Wilford.

Notice the interesting interaction of agency, heaven, earth, and prayers/blessings. There is a fascinating interaction in the experience. It does seem clear that Wilford and Pheobe both had agency and that they were making choices in the moment - that the decisions of agents mattered.

but by prayer and fasting

In Matthew 17:19-21 the Savior responds to the disciples’ question, ‘Why could not we cast him out?’ as they struggled to understand their lack of power compared to His. Jesus responds and tells them that they lacked faith and that they need to use prayer and fasting.

Then came the disciples to Jesus apart, and said, Why could not we cast him out? And Jesus said unto them, Because of your unbelief: for verily I say unto you, If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to yonder place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you. Howbeit this kind goeth not out but by prayer and fasting.

This conversation seems to imply that there is a relational transaction with faith, prayer, and miracles. These things require us to ask before God can make them happen. Sometimes, it needs the correct request the includes more than just the words of ‘please help me.’ We have to understand what we are asking and ask correctly to obtain our desires. The following story of one of Joseph Smith’s prayer experiences conveys this message well.

I will relate one circumstance that took place at Far West, in a house that Joseph had purchased, which had been formerly occupied as a public house by some wicked people. A short time after he got into it, one of his children was taken very sick; he laid his hands upon the child, when it got better; as soon as he went out of doors, the child was taken sick again; he again laid his hands upon it, so that it again recovered. This occurred several times, when Joseph inquired of the Lord what it all meant; then he had an open vision, and saw the devil in person, who contended with Joseph, face to face, for some time. He said it was his house, it belonged to him, and Joseph had no right there. Then Joseph rebuked Satan in the name of the Lord, and he departed and touched the child no more. Life of Heber C. Kimball Pg. 270

So it looks like there is a fascinating dynamic between spirits, us, and God. God expects us to ask with faith correctly. The relationship seems to be interactive and lively. He will then respond to our petitions and support us in our journey towards Him.

Alma’s prayer for Alma the younger

One more interesting example is in Mosiah 27:14 we read a strong statement about angels getting involved in a rebellious life specifically due to the prayers of his father. Alma’s experience is another fascinating example of faith, prayer, and agency. It appears that the faithful prayer of Alma the senior required the angel to persuade Alma the younger of the power of God.

And again, the angel said: Behold, the Lord hath heard the prayers of his people, and also the prayers of his servant, Alma, who is thy father; for he has prayed with much faith concerning thee that thou mightest be brought to the knowledge of the truth; therefore, for this purpose have I come to convince thee of the power and authority of God, that the prayers of his servants might be answered according to their faith.

Verses on prayer

Finally, a couple of additional verses on prayer strongly imply the conditional relationship in our communication with God.

• D&C 88:62-65 - These verses show the strength of the friendship. It shows a God that is near waiting for us to let him in. It conditions his entrance into our lives. We must Draw near unto [Him] then [He] will draw near unto [us]. He is there waiting and will answer, but we must petition him first.
• D&C 31:12-13 - We must pray always, lest [we] enter into temptation and lose [our] reward. and be faithful unto the end so that [He is with us]. These verses seem to imply the need for a constant relationship - a willingness to work together. If we don’t work with Him, we can lose our reward.

Conclusion

Prayer is relational. Love and friendship grow when those in the relationship work together. Love is not being told what to do but discovering together what we can do. We need God, and he needs our faithful requests to act in our lives and the lives of those we love.

• prayer
• openness
• lds
• principles